The more I work with women, the more I notice how self-deprecating we can be. For this reason, I felt compelled to write about the feelings / emotions we might experience which arise from the way we treat ourselves, but more importantly, how we can avoid this by developing a deeper love for ourselves. We should learn to treat ourselves with respect and through this nurture a confidence and a true happiness within.
– Think or speak negatively about yourself?
– Deprive yourself because you feel you don’t deserve certain things?
– Self-sabotage as a form of punishment?
– Put yourself under huge pressure and then feel low if you fail to meet your own expectations?
If the answer is yes to one or more of the above, please read on and learn how to practice positive habits and become the empowered, confident and happy woman you should be!
I recommend that you implement these 6 things into your life on a regular basis to build up your strength both on the inside and out.
1. Meditation – “I am dissolving all negative, limiting beliefs”
Trust me, meditation is not just for hippies – you don’t even have to be a spiritual person to get the benefits of meditation. It’s more about mindfulness and zoning out from the hustle and bustle of a busy life. It’s a process of pure relaxation, done in your own time, at your own pace. Because everyone is different, it’s best if you create your own ritual then you can be totally free, comfortable and at ease with it. Take yourself away mentally to your happy place, indulge yourself in happy thoughts and in that moment, let your stresses and worries wash away. Use meditation as a therapy when things start to feel tough.
2. Massage – Moving from mental relaxation to physical, don’t overlook the advantages that a physical bodily treatment will bring. It allows that deep relaxation and the ease of tension from the strain of life. As our bodies become tired physically and muscularly tight, it can cause us to harbour anxieties internally. This has a knock-on effect and can change our perceptions and the way we rationalise and deal with situations. By keeping on top of your physical wellbeing, you are likely to have an increased ability to think clearly and act accordingly.
3. Compliments – “Never say anything about yourself you do not want to come true”
Transform negative thoughts into positive ones. You should think of one single positive trait – it can be a physical characteristic, an aspect of your personality or a recent accomplishment – that you like or admire about yourself and take some time to focus on it. If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, practise replacing these with more uplifting ones to encourage positive emotions.
4. Indulgence – “Always find time for things that make you feel happy to be alive”
What a wonderful quote! Allow yourself to indulge a little without guilt. Book the spa. Eat the chocolate. Buy the dress. I find there’s so much pressure to act and look a certain way, especially for females these days. Please don’t buy into it or let yourself crack under the pressure, instead use this as fuel to practice your rebellious side. Indulging in those little things that make you happy will allow you to see life for the good things and strengthen/develop your character.
5. Acceptance (of your mistakes) – “My imperfections make me beautiful”
Mistakes will be made, there’s no denying that as we are not perfect beings. Life can feel like a series of challenges and we won’t always deal with them in the best way. So, rather than dwelling on mistakes made, use them as a platform to learn. They will always provide an opportunity to learn either about yourself, others, or how to deal with a situation or circumstance. Not only do you feel at peace with yourself having accepted the outcome, but you’re also unlikely to make the same mistake again.
Most importantly, I want to emphasise how vital it is that you treat yourself as you treat others. In times of difficulty or self-doubt, I always ask myself, what would I say to my best friend right now? What would I advise her? Would I dare say the things to her that I say to myself? Or treat her the way I treat myself? If the answer is no, then I need to learn to apply that same compassion, understanding and love to myself. Self-deprecation is not productive and has no benefit. It has no place in our lives. If you are faced with a similar situation, do the same, ask yourself those questions and then act accordingly.
I hope this has helped you really think about your inner thoughts and emotions and whether you harbour those that will encourage you to be better, more confident, strong women. If you didn’t before, change it now. Life isn’t easy, but we can become better at it by the way we allow ourselves to feel and how we act – if we do what is right for us, we can move forwards and be filled with positivity.
Feel empowered and STAY GLUTEYFUL!