If you took a quick look at my Instagram page, you would probably make the assumption that I’ve always been confident in my own skin, that I don’t care what others think and that I’ve always been into fitness...well you’d certainly be wrong.
It’s funny how things look from the outside isn’t it? You don’t know the story and the journey that someone went through to get to where they are right now.
So here is mine…
Growing up I was bullied a lot about the way I looked. I was never overweight, but I wasn’t skinny like the rest of my classmates. Even at a young age I had curves, a good set of shoulders and decent legs and I didn’t like this because it made me different. I wanted to be skinny, and refused to wear crop tops or anything that showed off my mid-section.
Instead of embracing my curves, I tried so many fad diets and slimming pills in my 20s after piling on a huge amount of weight as a student and working at McDonalds. I wanted to be skinny, and so did the boyfriend I was dating at the time. He told me that I wasn’t attractive and that I NEEDED to lose weight. He also told me I wasn’t allowed to wear short skirts or dresses.
It took me a lot of courage to end that relationship, and a lot of work mentally after that to learn to appreciate my body but also to treat it with the love and respect it deserved rather than punishing it.
I started feeding my body correctly and also exercising because I wanted to, not because I was being forced or I was punishing it for the food I had eaten. I found weight lifting and it gave me a sense of pride to say ‘I just lifted that’, whilst also shaping my body to make me curvier, but in all the right places.
Now, I love my body for what it has achieved, and will continue to achieve. I love my curves and I want to build more. I’ve also decided that no one is going to bring me down about my body, especially not a man who thinks it’s okay to control someone else’s emotions. No one will pressure me into what I eat or what I do in the gym, apart from myself or my coach. Everything I do is my own choice.
I’m also finding my confidence again day after day, week after week. Wearing just a gym bra and leggings in the gym was a massive step for me, I felt so bare the first time I did it. Showing off my stomach made me feel so exposed. Posting photos of myself in my bikini on Instagram was also a huge milestone with my confidence. Now I won’t stop posting them (so apologies for that haha!)
I’m proud of what I have achieved in the last 5 years, with hard work and dedication.
4 stone lost.
And increasing self love for my body each and every day.